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Buying Botox with stolen credit card won't reduce wrinkles

Written by Geoff Williams
Posted On: December 6, 2013

It's time for another look at the latest and not-so-greatest in unusual credit card crimes, and while we generally have a good mix of genders in our monthly round-up, or a slew of stories about knuckled-headed male criminals, this month… it's a ladies' night out.

A new wrinkle in this woman's life

In North Naples, Florida, one Judith Joslin Mahoney, 52, has been accused of stealing a credit card from her former employer, according to the Naples Daily News.

Most credit card thieves head off to Walmart, Target or maybe Best Buy and start buying up electronics and other expensive items.

This woman allegedly bought Botox.

So, a woman who tried to improve her identity is now being accused of identity theft. I'm all for self-improvement, but if you're going to spend some dough to look better, it seems like you should have some skin in the game. It seems like a stretch that she wouldn't have paid for it herself. And on an unrelated note, I wonder why my career in stand-up comedy never went anywhere.

Maybe this is why you're only allowed one phone call

Misty Laurae Willis, 35, of Lorida, Florida allegedly paid for phone calls from her boyfriend with a stolen credit card, according to Highlands Today, an edition of The Tampa Tribune.

If you're the romantic sort, you might think, "Well, she's in love, and we all do stupid things when we're in love."

True, but her boyfriend was currently incarcerated. Evidently, it costs money to call from the Okeechobee County jail, and Willis reportedly used a credit card belonging to her uncle and aunt to pay for the incoming calls. Eight of them, all from last year, but she was apparently just recently arrested.

Somewhere in the crime handbook, there has to be some advice that says if you're going to use a stolen credit card, don't use it to pay for phone calls from a jail. When the police find out, they aren't going to let this one go.

So if Willis goes to jail, and her boyfriend gets out, hopefully someone will tell her not to call him. Otherwise, if he uses a stolen credit card to pay for those phone charges, then he could go back to jail, and then when she gets out… well, this could take awhile.

Mom and Aunt of the Year

That is a sarcastic reference. If what the authorities are charging is true, these ladies don't deserve any awards, unless the prison art class hands them out.

Sisters Alicia and Alma Robinson face a handful of charges after allegedly taking part in a theft at the SouthPark Mall in Strongsville, Ohio.

In the surveillance video -- yes, there's video of the whole thing -- one woman can be seen talking to a clerk while another woman gives a boy -- Alicia Robinson's 12-year-old son, according to local news reports -- the sign to start stealing. The boy reportedly crawls behind the counter, taking an employee's wallet and credit cards. Another boy, said to be Robinson's 8-year-old son, is also seen in the video.

My first thought, as I always think when I read stories like this, was that these sisters had to be pretty desperate to bring these children into their life of crime, and while I don't condone it, you can't be too angry at them for using the credit cards to buy milk, eggs and other important staples.

Then, of course, I read a little more. Strongsville police told a local news outlet that the cards were used, about 30 minutes after the theft, to buy an iPad and some gift cards.

OK, then.

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